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Groom 101

Groom’s Guide to Choosing the Best Man, Groomsmen and Ushers

Chris Easter

Choosing friends or family to be in your wedding party is a very important decision. Asking someone to stand next to you on the day of your wedding is an honor that’s hard to equal. Typically, you want to make your decisions nine to 10 months before the wedding. First, you’ll want to decide with your fiancé the size of your ideal wedding party. However, as with most wedding planning decisions, it isn’t always an easy. For most men, the question often becomes “Who should I ask?”


Without question, if you have a brother, asking him to be a part of the wedding party is a given. It’s often expected that your brother will serve as best man. If you have more than one brother, it’s also very common to have two or more Best Men.


Including your fiancé’s brothers in the wedding party is also a very popular choice. It’s also widely accepted as standard practice. You’ll be joining their family on your wedding day, and asking them to be groomsmen is a great way to welcome them into yours.


The tough decisions start when it comes to choosing which friends to ask. It’s usually wisest to start with any life-long friends you’ve had. You can also think about close friends from high school and college. A very popular groomsman choice is the college roommate.

Remember, if you reach your maximum number of groomsmen, you can also add ushers. The number of ushers typically ranges from two to four — a ratio of one usher to every 50 guests is a good rule of thumb. But if you want to keep your wedding party small, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask your groomsmen to also usher in guests.


Cousins and nephews are also popular choices to add to your wedding party. Even if they’re young, you always the option of having a junior groomsman or usher. Other extended family members are also commonly asked to be readers, greeters or ring bearers.

TMR Recommendation: Definitely include your brothers and fiancé’s brothers in the wedding party, and remember that going with a junior usher will always get rave reviews from your guests.


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