Groom’s Guide on How to Write Your Own Vows

• Jul 10, 2024
• Plan
• by Chris Easter
• 6 Comments

Writing your own vows adds a unique touch to your wedding ceremony. However, we understand that vow writing isn’t a simple process. So instead of starting at a blank sheet of paper for hours on end, check out our sample vows and vow writing tips below, and consider this the walkthrough before the big game.

Vows typically have a defined beginning, middle, and end.

Kickoff (start slow and establish the tempo)

State your name, her name, and your intentions for marriage. This is where you want to set the tone for your vows. Do you want them to be romantic, humorous, serious, or a mix of all three? The tone should reflect your personality and the nature of your relationship.

Example — I, Romeo, stand here ready to take you, Juliet, to be my wife, best friend, and lifelong partner in marriage.

Half-time (the meat and potatoes)

State why you intend to marry and what marriage means to you. This would be the time to use any poetic skills you may have. It might also be an appropriate time to include a story that illustrates your love for the bride. Make specific promises to your partner. These can be serious, funny, or a mix of both.

Consider these questions:

• How did you meet?
• What are some of your favorite memories together?
• What do you love most about your partner?
• How has your relationship grown over time?

Jot down your thoughts and feelings as you reflect. This will serve as the foundation for your vows.

Example — As husband and wife, I know we’ll be able to accomplish anything and overcome any challenges that stand in our way. From the moment I met you in college, I knew you were the one I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. As we began to date and get to know each other even better, these thoughts were confirmed. I have never doubted my love for you; in fact, it has grown stronger every day.

4th quarter (finish strong)

Pledge yourself to your bride. This is where you’ll want to make promises that will last a lifetime. This is the portion of the vows that you’d probably recognize by the words “in sickness and in health.”

Example — From this moment on, with you at my side, I promise to always live by the vows I make today. I promise to give you the best future I can and to be the best father I can when we welcome children into the world. I will love you whether we’re rich or poor, healthy or sick, young or old. I pledge to hold these promises dear to my heart for the rest of my life.

Other Vow Writing Tips

1. Be authentic: Your vows should sound like you. Avoid clichés and overused phrases. Instead, use your own words and speak from the heart. Authenticity is key to creating vows that resonate.
2. Keep it concise: While expressing your feelings is important, try to keep your vows concise. Aim for about one to two minutes in length. This ensures you capture the essence of your feelings without losing the audience’s attention.
3. Practice makes perfect: Once you’ve written your vows, practice reading them aloud. This helps you get comfortable with the words and the flow. You can also make any necessary adjustments to improve clarity and impact.
4. Get feedback from others: If you’re comfortable, share your vows with a trusted friend or family member. They can provide valuable feedback and help you refine your words.
5. Write down your vows: On your wedding day, emotions can run high. Write down your vows and keep a copy with you to avoid any memory lapses. You can read directly from your notes during the ceremony if needed.
6. Maintain eye contact: During the ceremony, focus on your partner. Look into their eyes as you recite your vows and speak from the heart. This moment is about the two of you and the commitment you’re making to each other.

TMR Recommendation: Remember, size doesn’t matter. Your vows don’t have to be long; it’s what you say that counts.