Ask the Expert: American Bachelor Party on Sending the Groom Off in Style

Bachelor parties range from 4 or 5 people up to 30. There’s really no magic number, though depending on the activity, you may want to keep certain parties smaller or larger accordingly. If you plan on going to a top nightclub, for example, it would be pretty hard to get 30 guys in the door. On the other hand, if you’re looking to play paintball or go to a baseball game, the more the merrier. Also keep in mind that the closer to home the party is, the bigger chance people will attend. Bachelor parties are fun.

One hundred percent, NO! The future bride and groom will presumably be spending the rest of their lives together. The bachelor party symbolizes the last night of freedom as an unmarried guy. You are supposed to do things that you won’t be able to do as easily once you are married. There is also the potential for arguments between the bride and groom over questionable activities that may take place. Combining the two parties may seem like a fun idea, but the complexities it introduces are just not worth it.

This all depends on the group of guys and particularly their financial situation. You don’t want to leave someone out because they can’t afford flying to the bachelor party. That being said, there are plenty of affordable bachelor party destinations just a drive or flight away. Whether it be the beach, a golf resort, or Las Vegas there’s always an extra level of excitement when everyone is making the trip in honor of the groom.

Bachelor parties have so many possible activities. Getting a large group of guys together post college is such a rare event that some like to go crazy. This can include bottle service at a club, stretch hummer limos, and strippers at a hotel suite. Partying isn’t for everyone though. There are plenty of less wild ideas such as sporting events, ski trips, golf, and hiking that will create some great bachelor party memories.

Everyone except the groom typically splits the cost of the party. This gets a little complicated during a full weekend event where some people spend a longer time at the party than others. Also, if someone is unable to make portions of the event (ie. dinner) they shouldn’t have to pay that part. It is the best man’s responsibility to track all expenses, pay all bills, and then collect from everyone after the event. Only those expenses that are known ahead of time should be collected before the party. The only aspects of the party where the bachelor is expected to pay is for his own flight (if a destination bachelor party) and incidentals during the event.

The best time to have a bachelor party is 4-6 weeks before the wedding. If you have the party months in advance it loses some of its meaning. On the contrary, if you have it the night before the wedding, it could be a huge disaster for many reasons. As soon as you pick a date for the party, make sure you get a count of who will be able to attend. The earlier you get started on the planning, the easier it is. A good idea is for the bride and groom to have their bachelor/bachelorette parties on the same night or weekend so neither is home worrying what the other is doing.

In most cases, you shouldn’t throw a surprise bachelor party. Although it is the responsibility of the best man to plan the party, the groom should have input on who is invited and what type of activities will take place. If you really want an element of surprise, during the course of the bachelor party you can surprise the bachelor with something not on the plan.

This one depends on how close the groom is with his coworkers. Oftentimes, the coworkers will opt to just take the groom out one day after work for a mini bachelor party – maybe dinner and drinks. Even if one or two guys at work are much closer to the groom and typically associate with him outside of work, we believe in an all-or-nothing approach. If you invite one coworker, you have to invite them all.

This is a tough bachelor party question. As long as the woman knows what she is getting herself into, won’t be offended, and won’t tell the bride, there is no reason a woman couldn’t be part of a bachelor party. The other piece to consider is if she is friends with any of the groomsmen’s girlfriends or wives, there may be a conflict of interest. In the end, however, most women will appreciate an invite to the bachelor party but will be smart enough to not accept.